Hopping off the “Crazy Train” of Self-Doubt

I recently emailed one of my mentors and shared a small success. I shared the details but as I did a whole lot of “stuff” just stumbled out in the email… I was SO tempted to delete it! SO tempted! But I didn’t. I hit send.

Then I began checking my email to see if I received a response back. How was my email received? Was it positive? I was pretty real in the email. If I’m honest, I craved the affirmation, the validation that I was on the right track. Hmmm… more “people pleasing”? It certainly smacks of just that. Have you done this? Sent something “out” into “cyber world” and waited with bated breath… would there be a response? A good one? One needing interpretation? Ugh! What a yucky, icky inner place to function from!!

Segway… Another “Anti-Introduction”. I love words. I have a favorite word list! And when I use them, I kind of crack myself up. For real. For some reason, “yucky, icky inner place” makes me chuckle. I am probably alone in this but that’s okay because I also LOVE humor and laughter!! In my “real life” I laugh A LOT. I’m not necessarily funny, more like quirky I’d say. I wish I could be funny honestly. You know, like the people that just make comments off the top of their heads in real life conversations and people just laugh? I love those kinds of people! But I’m not one of them. But I sure do like to laugh and smile a lot. It used to be a mask, but now it is genuine and just a way of life. But that is another blog post…. P.S. These segways may happen a lot. I hope you don’t mind. It’s kind of the way my brain works. Maybe I’ll do a SEGWAY ALERT! And if you want, you can just skip right past them. 😊

All right, where was I? Checking my email right? I didn’t like the feeling I was feeling, constantly checking and then second guessing… “Should I have sent all that? Maybe I shouldn’t have sent it at all!” I was driving myself nuts and decided to “Just stop it!” 🛑 I reminded myself of the following:

* I emailed all that I did because the person IS my mentor and the person IS in my safe circle ⭕️ to share my heart and life.

* The history of support and encouragement this person has provided has been lifelong and unwavering. Why would it all of a sudden change now? It wouldn’t. This train of thought was highly irrational and fueled by the major insecurities of the moment. So I decided I could trust the history of evidence and hop off the “crazy train” of self-doubt.

* And last, I had a CHOICE… I could choose to continue to drive myself crazy continuing to check my email or “Just stop it!” 🛑 and do something else.

So, the action I chose was… to stop the constant checking, divert my thoughts and energy to doing something productive. And you know what?!?! I got caught up in some of the things on my “To Do” list, felt good about that, took a nap and felt REALLY good about that, and realized I forgot all about checking email! I ended up really enjoying the rest of my day because of it. I had just given myself a gift.

I realize what a good experience this is to have happened early on in this new adventure. If I am going to look for external validation and affirmation every step of the way, I am going to waste a whole lot of my energy and time! Why am I needing that external source to approve my path? My dreams are big you see. People in my circle of life don’t necessarily “make it big”. I’m not saying I don’t know anyone successful. I do. We all do. But I’m talking BIG! So if I wait for someone else to validate me or the path I am on, then it may never happen. The most important one that needs to validate and affirm me is ME!

Mental and Emotional Block #2 ➡️ work on validating myself, affirming myself, Every.Single.Day!

Won’t you join me in validating and affirming yourself every day? I already know it will be Oh So Worth It! 🌈

It’s time…

Blessings dear ones,


P.S. At the time of writing, I still haven’t received an email response. And you know what? I’m okay with that.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: