COPING WITH THE CHANGE: HOW TO EMBRACE THE UNEXPECTED

  • Has your life changed because of the pandemic?
  • Are you struggling with the changes?

I think we would be hard pressed to find someone that has not experienced change in the past 9 months. I am no exception.

When the world seemed to push a pause button last March because of the worldwide pandemic, I like everyone else had to learn how to function within a new normal. I needed to completely and quickly turn my business upside down by functioning 💯 percent remotely. This was a crazy time I won’t lie. Our team had to learn on the fly.

The additional changes that I have experienced are many: three months working from home, financial worries, fears about the health of dear ones, trips to see family canceled, changes in my children’s mode of education, long time periods of not seeing loved ones, many, many “What if…” thoughts.

This list is just the tip of the iceberg as it is for so many.

But I will also be honest dear reader. As much as my life has changed, I really want to find meaning and purpose in a kind of time I never thought I would experience in my lifetime.

The pause button of the pandemic has allowed me to reflect on what was and what was not working in my life.

I can also tell you, this list is long but here are just a few.

  • I was working too many hours during the week and feeling utterly depleted by the weekend.
  • I was trying to force myself to function within a business model that I didn’t necessarily fully embrace.
  • I was feeling satisfied with my life path, but not feeling FULLY alive.

I realize that I want more.

  • I want to feel more passion about my purpose and help more people.
  • I want to wake up so excited for my day I can’t wait to get started.
  • I want more human connectedness.
  • I want my faith to grow.
  • I want to feel more fully present and experience more joy in the moment.

Because of all of the changes that I mentioned above, I have had more time to ponder my “I Want…” list.

What I have uncovered is that this is truly THE best time, THE BEST opportunity that I have ever had to create the life I want.

How do we embrace the unexpected during these unprecedented times?

1. Daily introspection (for me during times of prayers and devotions) in which I am honest with myself.

Insert me looking like this…

HONESTY IS A WORTHY INVESTMENT IN
OUR FUTURE. WITHOUT IT, WE ARE MORE INCLINED TO REPEAT OUR PAST.

2. Stop 🛑 the negative and fear filled narratives of our thoughts right in their tracks. Practicing gratitude begets more gratitude.

  • “I am grateful to be adopting an attitude that sees opportunity versus loss, purpose versus pessimism, hope versus fear.”
  • “I am grateful that even little actions are producing little changes and I want MORE of that.”

3. Confront the unacceptable in our lives. Acknowledge the choices we have to either continue as is or take the scary steps of change.

Change can often feel like this:

But it is a necessary step in taking charge of the trajectory of our lives.

4. Understand and embrace our ability to choose! Repeat aloud after me…

  • “I can choose my attitude.”
  • “I can choose to change what is not working in my life.”
  • “I can feel peace, joy, love, passion.”

5. Choose action! Action is the only way that life can begin to move in the direction we want it to go.

I continue to acknowledge that life has changed in many challenging ways. But I have embraced this time by doing all of the above. It has been making a difference. Here is how the changes are manifesting themselves.

  • I knew I enjoyed writing. I now know I LOVE it. I feel creative. I read more. I research more. I am enjoying the process and it makes me feel alive. I may not be a New York Times Best Selling Author but I am loving writing for the pure pleasure it gives me.
  • I have more time with my family as I have adjusted to periods of time that I must work from home. My family is my life. By embracing this change versus grumbling about the challenges has increased my joy of being with them more.
  • My little rescue dog, Chester “Pockets” Nicklaus loves having me around more. He follows me from room to room and it makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world. Who doesn’t love feeling like that? 
  • I am exploring new ways of helping people and I love the excitement of it. Even working through the vast “Ugh!” moments that I have shared about in this blog have resulted in feelings of accomplishments and growth.

So for now, for this crazy time we are all living through, may we begin to reframe the lense from which we are viewing our experiences.

May we embrace this time as an opportunity to reexamine our lives. Keep what is working. Discard what isn’t. It isn’t easy but it is oh so worth it!

What changes are you struggling with? What has been your most difficult challenge? Send me an email through the link below. I will be addressing future blog posts to respond to your thoughts and concerns. 

We are all in this together. We, none of us, are alone.

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

DON’T LET AGE BE A DEFINING FACTOR IN HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER! WE ARE NEVER TOO YOUNG OR TOO OLD!

Recently, I was completely inspired by my colleague and team member, Judith Robbins, MA, LPC when she said, “85 (years old) is the new 65!”

I have resolved to make my own resolution. “Fifty is the new thirty!” And as Joyce Meyer says, “I am not aging. I am youthing.” 

Did you know?

• Colonel Harland Sanders founded Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) at the age of 65!!

Reference:  https://www.thebalancesmb.com/colonel-sanders-bio-kentucky-fried-chicken-story-1350966

OR THAT…

• Martha Stewart didn’t become “America’s housewife” until she started writing about domestic living and publishing cookbooks when she was in her 40’s! 

Reference:  https://www.lifehack.org/370180/20-people-who-only-achieved-success-after-age-40

Far too often in my life I have allowed age to define what I was or was not capable of doing. Of course years ago, it was “I am too young.” OR “I am too inexperienced.” OR “I need more of this or less of that.”

When I found myself at age 44 asking myself, “What I am going to do when I grow up?”, I ended up finding my calling. These blog posts speak to this part of my journey. Click here to read more. MY PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES and DARKNESS BEFORE DAWN: LIGHTHOUSES ~ MY LIFELONG SYMBOL OF HOPE

When we find what we are passionate about at ANY age, we can ask ourselves if we are willing to unleash the dreams within our hearts or we can choose a “settled for” life.  I really don’t want to fall in the latter category. 

When I was 47, I was provided with an opportunity to open a small mental health counseling agency. Against all odds, I took a huge leap of faith. I say against all odds (and one might say against all business wisdom) because I had zero knowledge and background in business. I did not even handle my family’s finances for goodness sake! My husband handles our checkbook and bills.  But I felt a “knowing” well up in my spirit that this was what I was MEANT to do. What I lacked in business acumen, I did believe in myself in my counseling abilities and how much I wanted (and will always want) to make a difference for the hurting in my small rural community.  

Taking this leap of faith and allowing myself to take this tremendous risk has been scary but more rewarding than I could ever have imagined. I love the clients that we serve and I love the team that makes up my Nicklaus Counseling Center Family.

I can tell you that the number of my mistakes I’ve made are almost too numerous to count, some large, some small.  And the buck always stops with me with every single one. It has been through each mistake that I have learned the most; about myself, about what I’m made of, about who I am, and about the dream catcher that I still strive to be. 

I have spent every day of the past three and a half years out of my comfort zone. Some nights I have come home so tired I could cry. Yet through it all, I know I have never felt more alive in my entire life. And oh but for the grace of God, go I. 

You may wonder why I am sharing this.  Honestly, at times I question it myself. And I do confess with every blog post, I feel raw and vulnerable.  But somehow these posts seem to be writing themselves.  It is my hope that by being real with my words about my life, it will help you dear reader feel not quite so alone. I believe in this time in the history of our world, we need more human connection, even human connection through written word. 

As I continue to push myself in my own life journey, I hope you may be encouraged to join me in watering the seeds of dreams in your soul. We have but one life after all. I believe we all have SO much more within us! Not just dreams but healing, peace, joy, forgiveness, love, and so much more. Let’s find out together shall we?! 😊

You know why? Because,

It’s time! 🌈

Blessings dear ones 💙🦋

DARKNESS BEFORE DAWN: LIGHTHOUSES ~ MY LIFELONG SYMBOL OF HOPE

Lighthouses ~ My Symbol of HOPE

In my previous post, “My Phoenix Rising from the Ashes”, I began sharing about the cognitive shift that took place when my life fell to ruins. I didn’t share that this took place when I was 44 years old. I had spent my 30’s as a stay-at-home mom, my late 30’s and early 40’s as a graduate student and beginning my career as a School Counselor.

I absolutely LOVED my first position working at a private high school and had the joy of building the start of a School Counseling Program. I easily could have spent my career in this position but I was lured away by the offer of “my dream job” and the opportunity to return to my hometown.

Unfortunately, I very quickly realized that I was not cut out for this kind of position in this kind of setting. There were SO many factors that went into making one of the HARDEST decisions of my life. I resigned from my dream job and settled into the “depths of despair”.

I had uprooted my family for a job that I was walking away from. And any passion I felt for working with children and youth was completely gone. I would not return to a career in School Counseling. I was 44 years old and I now had no idea what I was going to do when I grew up.

I spent the next year and a half putting myself and my family back together. It really can be done dear ones. During this time I focused first on my own healing and growth because I recognized two important things:

1. If I don’t take care of myself, I am of no use to anyone else.

2. If I don’t discover WHO I am and start to live my own life, by the grace of God, I would be miserable the rest of my days.

I had finally become “Sick and tired of being sick and tired.” And because of that, I found the motivation to create:

💡 Awareness➕Choose New Actions ♻️ Repeating Over and Over 2️⃣ Create Change ‼️

HOPE IS ON THE HORIZON

Never before in my life was I to experience a more pivotal, life changing moment. Every single day I woke up and CHOSE life, healing, hope, family, love, and forgiveness. It changed me from the inside out.

As I wrote those words, it occurs to me that I could write pages and pages on the lessons God taught me about choosing life, healing, hope, family, love, and forgiveness. Perhaps, they will be lessons to revisit now, as I embrace this new chapter of dream chasing. I don’t believe it is ever a waste of time to celebrate how far one has come while looking forward to the dreams of the future.

As time passed I felt a stirring in my heart that would not be denied. I missed working with youth. On a whim, I decided to reach out to the owner of a local counseling agency to inquire about any positions in working with youth. What I walked away with was an opportunity that changed the entire trajectory of my life.

My MS-Ed in K-12 School Counseling from Concordia University-Mequon (Wisconsin) also allowed me to pursue a Licensed Professional Counseling Master’s Degree. It was a career path I had decidedly chose AGAINST my whole life. And here a new opportunity was unfolding before me, a path I had felt certain I did not want. I discovered however, that by journeying down the painful path of healing, growth, and recovery, I actually found MYSELF and MY LIFE CALLING in the place I least expected it! I feel the raw emotions well up within me once again just writing these words. It was true then and remains true to this day.

From the very first moment that I saw my first client as a counselor in the private clinical setting, it was as if my entire life up to that very moment now made sense. By finding myself, I found my calling in serving others.

I am not completely certain, why all of these musings on my life are almost writing themselves on the pages of this blog (when this blog was intended to challenge myself to pursue all my dreams). Yet the words just seem to be tumbling from heart to page. And I do find myself hoping they will inspire someone along the way, to choose life, to choose healing, to never give up. Sometimes the darkest of nights, give way to the most beautiful dawn. 🌅

Blessings and hope dear ones,

Christine

 

MY PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES

Growing up as a “People Pleaser”, by adulthood I had perfected this pattern into a finely tuned way of life. People pleasing was fully ingrained in the way I thought and it drove most of my actions. It was such a powerful force in so many aspects of my life that it is hard to remember any part of my inward or outward self that wasn’t consciously or unconsciously driven by this need to please.

Let me assure you, living to please others is a heavy load to carry throughout a lifetime. This burden only seemed to grow heavier as the years passed.

Can you relate with any of the following kinds of thoughts?

• What will so and so think of the job that I did on that task at work, school, home? I hope so and so will think… (insert the need for external confirmation and validation here).

• I hope my child(ren) are… (well-behaved, polite, get good grades, succeed in…) because I’d hate for anyone to think I’m a bad parent…

• I really need to succeed in Graduate school. I want to get 4.00 like my dad did because I really want to make him proud. Are there things you are doing to gain the approval of another?

• What will so and so think if I… do this OR don’t do that? Will they be mad at me if…

Or have you ever paid close attention to a person’s reaction to something you said or did and worried about what they thought of you based on your perception of their facial expressions, body language, and the like? And then agonized over it?

Well, if you have, you really are not alone. But I can also tell you that it is absolutely 💯 percent possible to break loose of the chains of people pleasing that hold you bondage.

“Hello, my name is Christine and I am a Recovering People Pleaser.”

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. ~ Mark Twain

The first time I heard the Mark Twain quote, “ What other people think of me is none of my business.”, I literally didn’t get it. I think my brain was signaling, “Does not compute! Does not compute!” This seemed utterly impossible to me. But it got me thinking… what would it be like? To not worry about what others thought of me all the time? Hmmm….

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on one’s point of view, I had to learn from the “Crash and Burn 101” life curriculum.

I entered into a particular phase of my life in which everything that I had hoped for was coming to fruition. It was a case of, “Be careful what you wish for.” No sooner did I have everything that I wished for, only for it all to completely unravel and fall apart. There was not an aspect of my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or professional life that did not lay in ruins. I knew the true meaning of being in the “depths of despair”. It was from this dark place, that I had to come to a point of personal reckoning. For the very first time I was able to look myself in the mirror and finally acknowledge who and what I was! And that included the good, the bad, and everything in between; the mistakes and failures, the successes and accomplishments, the strengths and weaknesses, the things I liked about myself and the things I didn’t. What began as crippling inner pain slowly turned into a discovery of self-acceptance and a budding of new life in my very soul. I was able to begin to accept my flaws without hating myself for them. I began to see my uniqueness as a child of God and slowly began to love myself.

As I continued to embrace a new journey of healing, I discovered within me an absolute willingness to do everything within my power and by the grace of God, to be a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

I found the love and support that I sorely needed and began to build my sense of self for the first time, to claim and own my worth, to choose new ways of thinking and new actions; all of which involved a huge cognitive shift AWAY from doing anything on the basis of pleasing others. Because I found the Faith that I had longed for my whole life during this time frame, I was able to determine if my choices would make God happy and if I was choosing what was right and best for me. It was a very foreign place to function from at first. I confess I was quite uncomfortable.

What started as feelings of utter defeat and feeling beat down by life, manifested in literally wishing my clothes would swallow me whole when I was in public. I despised myself that much. But as the healing of my soul continued, I began to feel empowered to live MY LIFE! Living by faith and by following MY OWN TRUE NORTH allows for a personal freedom in my heart and mind that allows my soul to soar. Can you feel the lightness that remains to this day?

So much work went into my time of healing in those early days but the foundation remains solid to this day. Every day I hope to be better than the day before. I still falter. I still fall. I still backslide into stinkin’ thinkin’. But the difference today is that I know I can pick myself up and dust myself off. There is always something to be learned from my mistakes ~ they are actually where my best learning comes from. There is ALWAYS sunshine that emerges after the storms and the rainbows are somehow even more glorious now. I see God’s fingerprints everywhere I look and gratitude fills my heart.

I remind myself quite often of Mark Twain’s quote and have made it one of my life mantras.

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. ~ Mark Twain

And I keep on the empowering path that is guided by following ONLY My True North! This is the sweet spot dear ones. Won’t you join me in following your True North?

It’s time… 🧭 🌟

Blessings,

Christine

WHEN JOURNALING WON’T DO BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH YOUR MIND…. TRY A WORD DUMP! 🖍📘

“WORD DUMP”

Recently I was feeling mentally stuck and extremely frustrated as a result. And I did NOT like it. Typically I would grab my journal and “write it out”. Nine times out of ten this usually works for me. Not wanting to abandon my journal however (because it is such a powerful tool of self-expression for me), my daughter suggested a Word Dump.

I don’t know about you, but I have never heard of this before. She gave these simple instructions:

Simply put pen to paper 📝 and write whatever words or phrases pop into your mind.

It’s as easy as that! I have included my example above.

Because I LOVE color, I started out with an orange pen. By the time I finished, I discovered a theme had emerged. I was extremely frustrated with all things technology. I also discovered however, that I FELT better having purged those words and having identified the source of my mental block and frustration. To put words to it; I felt relieved and emotionally lighter.

I decided not to stop there. I grabbed a new color, blue this time, and continued to write. Clearly I had more “angst” to unleash but I was loosing steam. I was feeling quite satisfied with this exercise because I was achieving the results I was seeking. My goal was to simply feel better and no longer feel “stuck”. It was working.

However, I didn’t feel that I was done quite yet. So I grabbed another pen, red this time. Without even making the connection until this very moment, my instincts chose red because it is a POWER color. This time a new theme emerged!! PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT! 💡💡🌟✨

WOW… insert me taking a moment here… just Wow!

I am incredibly grateful that I added the last step because it is this step and this color that reignited the passion I feel for the new adventure. It is vital for me to get out the “yuck” but to also move forward into positive action. What an absolutely beautiful and unexpected byproduct:

❤️ PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT ❤️

Oh how my heart bubbles up with happiness and determination just reflecting back on this exercise. To be sure, it is going to be another way that I use my journal, another tool going into my toolbox! 🧰🔨🔧

Are you feeling stuck or blocked today? Why don’t you try your own Word Dump? Make it your own! As with any tool, take the parts that you like and discard the rest.

Exercises like this for me, remove a mental and emotional barrier of the moment which allows me to continue moving forward. You know why? Because…

It’s time 🍁🍂

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

Do More of What Brings You Joy

I have been journaling ever since I was a freshman in high school. I was really struggling with what I now know to be depression and my dear beloved Pastor Woody Floto suggested it as a tool to talk to God and share my feelings with Him. I started then and have been doing it ever since. (It’s only been a couple of years… 🤓)

Segway Alert 🚨 You might find it funny that I remember censoring my journal entries because I was afraid my daughter (yes, daughter… how did I know I’d have a daughter? But, that’s what my 14 year old brain thought at the time) would one day find my journals, read them, and think I was a horrible person. “Oh honey 💔…” If I could go back and talk to that young, innocent, depressed girl, I’d tell her to “let it all out! No censorship allowed. Journaling is an excellent form of self-expression.” I’d tell her that “learning how to navigate through all these emotions; to name, claim, express, get out, accept, cope with emotions is vital to inner wellbeing. And journaling is a very wonderful, healthy mental, emotional, spiritual tool to do just that!” 📝

Fast forward a few years, back to this day: I still love journaling! Each journal becomes like a dear, dear friend to me. I always feel a tinge of sadness when I finish the last page and retire the book to my special drawer dedicated to the pages and pages of my life.

For me, writing in my journal has become a habit and a way of life. I use it in SO many ways! So I thought I would share a recent journal entry with you. When I opened the blank page in this journal, it stated in the middle; “Do More of What Brings You Joy”. I decided to fill the page with words and phrases of things that make me happy. I switched it up and used my colored pens to bring the page and my very thoughts and dreams alive. I had so much fun doing it this way. 🖍📘🖍📗

I am looking at this journal entry a lot!! It makes me happy with a mere simple glance. It makes my heart feel warm and hopeful. And it places the words in my mind and sparks my imagination of all that I hope my present and future will hold.

And it occurs to me as I write this post, how much I am enjoying the little moments of this new journey, and doing so to the fullest! This, dear ones, is the sweet spot. Maybe this going after my dreams stuff isn’t all scary and filled with uncertainties after all. I am discovering such precious little victories! My heart beat quickens a tad as I acknowledge this!

I think the best way for me to wrap up this special blog moment is to vow to continue to share these special little victories with you. My hope is that it will encourage you to celebrate your own little and big victories. They are really important after all aren’t they? I believe so. 🌈

What are some of the special victories you are experiencing today? Acknowledge it. Celebrate it. Share it. And cherish your moment within it.

And why should we do that?

It’s time…. 🌅

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

Self-Care Isn’t As Effective When I Don’t “Set My Mind” To It

I’ve discovered that one of my “sure fire” ways of sabotaging my self-care time goes something like this:

Me to Myself: Ugh 😫 I am spent! I really need to relax. I should really… (insert journaling or going for a walk or reading or do a puzzle or any of the other things on my self-care list). But I should really get this (house chore) done first or that (work task) done first.

Me Responding to Myself: But I really would love to just relax for a little while. I don’t really feel like doing any of the things on my To Do List but I’ll just keep going…

And then, this is what I look 👀 like.

EXHIBIT A : No lie, it’s really what I look 👀 like.

If I am lucky, I recognize I am doing this and tell myself to “Just Stop 🛑 It”!

Segway Alert 🚨 If you want a really good belly laugh check out the Bob Newhart YouTube clip by the name, Stop It. Honestly, I laughed so hard the first (and 2nd, 3rd, 4th-you get the picture 🤣) time I watched it. Shout out to my friend Christi F. who shared it with me. 😉 Now, whenever I say “Just Stop It” to myself in my head, my voice sounds just like his. I think I’ll go watch it again before I continue. Because finding ways to laugh is a REALLY big thing on my self-care list.

This, I might add is the opposite of moving forward toward my dreams. At this point I am simply BUSY, not PRODUCTIVE. I don’t know about you, but I do not like busy. I like productive.

In order to be productive, I need to return to self-care. Self-care that I DO… intentionally and with permission. This is a pretty big deal for me because otherwise it is just more ➡️ reinsert Exhibit A from above.

When I am intentional about self-care, when I give myself full and complete PERMISSION to enjoy whatever self-care thing I choose to do, it is a game changer. I have learned that I must SET MY MIND to appreciate the down time I am gifting to myself. THAT is the sweet spot!

EXHIBIT B : Me in my sweet spot.

So, for today I will choose:

• Less of EXHIBIT A

By choosing to intentionally and with permission (SET MY MIND) to do the following:

“Go to church” online, take a glorious nap, journal, and learn something new.

And then I will experience more of EXHIBIT B.

What will you do intentionally and give yourself permission (SETTING YOUR MIND) to enjoy today? This my friends will be moving forward. Because…

It’s time… 🍁🍂

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

Friendly Friday Challenge – “Quiet Places”

Menoninee Lighthouse in Menominee, Michigan

This post is me joining the Friendly Friday Challenge – “Quiet Places” posted on the site “Something to Ponder About”. Check out the link below. It’s awesome! 🌅

Friendly Friday Challenge – Quiet Places

Blogging is opening up a whole new world to me! I am getting to “meet” such wonderful new people as I “travel” around the (blogging 📝) globe. 🌎 I think I even “met” a kindred spirit from Australia! 😊

I came across a blog post in which interesting folks from EVERYWHERE share a picture and a post about the “quiet places” they retreat to when they need to renew their spirits.

I unleashed my imagination and now it gets to soar as it travels to the mountains of Norway or fly to the banks of the Tauber River in Germany as I view the beautiful photos from the Friendly Friday Challenge post (link shared above).

Or to any other number of places as I conjure up images or smells or sounds that the pictures or discriptions from other commentators evoke.

Because this journey is all about “doing that thing”, I am going to join this challenge! There is a helpful link that discusses how to join. But oh boy….

Segway Alert 🚨 Oh dear Lord… even with Amanda’s helpful link to describe how to post, copy URL’s, tagging and pinning… I still am clueless! Oy vay! Insert me muttering under my breath… “I think I can. I think I Can. I think I CAN!” 👍

I often say that the mind is such a powerful thing. And today I am reminded of two things as I write this post:

• I am experiencing the thrill of unexpected pleasure at the mere discovery of incredible, interesting, passionate people from around the globe. The love that bubbles up from my heart just swells when I “talk” to new people from the blogging world or from new Facebook groups I have joined. For a goofy gal who has a “Favorite Word List” I find a lack of adequate words to express this newfound joy of discovery. But Joy pretty much sums it up in one word.

Joy… doesn’t that just roll off the tongue beautifully? I honestly can’t wait to uncover and discover what other beautiful surprises are in store for me in the new adventure. Insert me here with arms wide open and hands lifted Heavenward as I embrace this gift of life.

I am also reminded of this. I am just mere days into the new adventure. What if I had continued with old “stinkin’ thinkin’” patterns or “shut down before I really got started” pattern. I would have missed out on today’s joy. I would have missed out on yesterday’s sense of accomplishment. I would be missing out on how amazing it feels to be plowing right smack dab through my fears and allowing seeds of determination to be taking root.

I am going to be tending those seeds in my soul with the utmost of TLC. I will let the sun shine on and pull away the weeds. I’ll cherish the precious new creation that emerges.

Another unexpected surprise is taking place, I feel less fear and uncertainty today than I did at the start. And actually, I take that right back. In THIS moment I don’t feel ANY fear or uncertainty because pure joy has taken up full capacity in my heart. There just is no room today for any of the “yucky, icky stuff”. Thank you God!

I have included two pictures of the “Quiet Places” I enjoy. 🍁🌳🍂🌲🌾

Pictured Rocks hiking trails in Michigan
One of the many peaceful views where my parents live in Menominee, MI

The new adventure is helping me discover the “Quiet and Peaceful Places” within my soul. I can go to these inner places any time I choose.

I am so glad I accepted this Friendly Friday challenge! It has uncovered some precious treasures. What joys are waiting for you in your Quiet Place? Let’s find out together because…

It’s time….

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

Posted for Amanda’s Friendly Friday’s 💙

Friendly Friday Callenge

Continue reading “Friendly Friday Challenge – “Quiet Places””

Self-Care Isn’t Self-Care Unless I Actually DO It! It’s As Simple As That!

I have a confession to make. I was SO excited about a number of things that I am working on, this blog being one of them, that I was going full steam ahead without taking adequate care of myself. I have felt this fire within and it makes me feel so alive! But I had to push my pause button and force myself to do some things to give my brain and body a rest. I have a well-developed and oft used self-care list that I practice on a (mostly) regular basis.

Thursday late afternoon, I recognized how tired I was. I was sluggish and experiencing brain fog. That evening, I spent just watching tv and was able to get lost in the program. There are times that doing something “mindless” and allowing myself to check out mentally are what I NEED to do. 

Friday morning I was able to “meet online” with a dear friend for prayers and devotions. It felt so good to pause to pray and learn. Throughout the course of our time together I was able to just talk and share from the heart. She is able to challenge me while doing so in the loving, encouraging, downright funny way that is just uniquely special about her. I was amazed at how “keyed” up I had been, while being completely unaware of it, until I physically felt my body relax by the end of our time together. I often use the example of feeling like a balloon, air (thoughts, emotions, tensions, etc.) filling that balloon throughout the week; the act of prayers, spending time with God, and a good heart-to-heart that let all that air out. I think this was the MOST important thing I did for myself yesterday.

During my online meet with my friend, my daughter called with a need. Normally I would drop everything and “run”.

Segway alert and “Actual Introduction” here. 🙂 I am home on quarentine until October 12, so I literally can’t run anywhere. lol But I am grateful because my son who tested positive is on the mend and my husband and I remain healthy.  Fun fact about me: I met my husband when we were both 17. We “ran away” to elope at age 22. I have a grown daughter who is getting married in 11 months and I am reminded why my husband and I eloped. And I have a 17 son who will graduate high school next May. It’s going to be quite a year!

As I was saying, normally I’d drop everything. But I recognized how much I needed this time with my friend and with God, so I told my daughter that I would get back to her after a bit. This was a REALLY big deal for me to do. I confess, far too often it is my pattern to put everyone before myself. I thought I had made progress in this area, but when I am honest with myself, I can see I clearly need to examine this more. It seems to be the most difficult to do with my immediate family.

But here is my lesson, by taking the time I needed and the result feeling drastically different (insert keyed up, tense, chair rocking me before, and then…. insert me relaxed, smiling again, and not making my friend dizzy by rocking incessantly back and forth.); I felt like I had more to give again. “Self-care is not selfish”. I’m not sure who to give credit to for saying that but it really is true. I was grateful to have put this into practice. It made a huge difference. It ALWAYS does.

I am reminded that positive reinforcement happens organically when I take care of myself. The by-product for me in the past 48 hours? I feel “back to myself“, with body, mind, and spirit feeling rejuvenated.

And you know what? I have one more day to my weekend and I am going to continue with my self-care by “going to church” online, taking a nap, journaling, and learning something new. THAT is me making one more step in the right direction of going after my dreams. Sometimes life is just as simple as that. Self-care isn’t self-care if I don’t do it.

It’s time…

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

What are your favorite self-care tips and tools. What keeps you from practicing self-care. Write a comment below or subscribe by signing up with your email.

Perfect in My Imperfection

Are any of you perfectionists? I am and I can tell you it is NOT something that has served me well throughout my lifetime. It has been stifling. It has been crippling. It has stopped me from doing something even before I ever got started. It fuels the fire of self-doubt and self-criticism. None of these things help me to be on top of my mental game. In fact the opposite is true. It saps my energy and enthusiasm. And this is no longer acceptable to me.

This blog is a very good example. I seriously know nothing about blogging. The technology involved is kicking me in the butt (see Technophobia Tailspin Take Aback for more on that!) Normally, I’d read, research, get overwhelmed and shut right down. Maybe I’d write a post or two and feel good about it that but stop right there. The reasons would be endless…

* but one would cut me off right at the pass. Not being perfect. Not doing it good enough. Not.Being.Good.Enough. Does any of this ring true for you?

Segway Alert 🚨 The endless reasons I would quit before I really get rolling? Goodness, that is entirely another post. Or ten. Or twenty… You get the picture. 😂

But I digress, I was talking about perfectionistic tendencies. This is the first time that I am not shutting down. It is quite uncomfortable, I must say.  Instead of putting it off until… (I’ve proofed a post a million times or I’ve figured out tags or I’ve figured out how to upload pictures or understand EVERYTHING there is to know about EVERYTHING!); instead of doing that… I am doing something Every.Single.Day.

It excites me to be putting one foot in front of the other and seeing results. The posts might be imperfect. The blog site might be elementary. I am making a great many mistakes. My progress is slow. But I am moving forward! 

My mistakes are my mistakes and I am learning from each and every one of them.  The sense of accomplishment is mine and it feels amazing! And the end result of this? Oh my goodness if I am not waking up in the morning with more enthusiasm than I have ever felt in my entire life.  I am celebrating each little success. Because achieving my dreams will take place by choosing new actions one day at a time. 

The new actions are these:

  • learning, learning, and more learning (and yes, this includes technology)
  • writing, writing, and writing (about going after my dreams!)
  • following the plan I developed today. 🙂
  • continuing to write in my journal about why I can achieve my dreams (today’s acknowledgement? “Why I can achieve my dreams: I can achieve my dreams because I am proving something to myself. I am not shutting down this blog because is not a perfect, beautiful, witty, knock your socks off blog.” 

I feel butterflies in my stomach because I just realized something! This blog is going to evolve as I evolve! It is going to get better as I get better. And that is wonderful! Why would I expect myself to be perfect at this new venture ( or any new venture)? What an unrealistic expectation (and that is no longer acceptable.) 

I can tell the phrase “no longer acceptable to me” is going to come up a lot! And that IS acceptable. I’m really flipping everything upside down in my life.  The view is quite different from this upside down perspective and I’m okay with that.  And how about this for reframing perfectionism? I AM perfect in my INPERFECTION!

What would it look like for you from the upside down view? What is no longer acceptable to you? Let’s flip things upside down together.  I know we CAN do it together! You know why?

It’s time…

Blessings dear ones,

Christine

 

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